We are two weeks after the election, and we didn’t do it, Joe.
We did not win the battle against racism, white supremacy, misogyny, and criminal enterprise. Americans went to the ballot box and willingly said no, we do not trust Vice President Kamala Harris, a Black woman who is pristine and professionally top tier. Now, let’s be clear: Black women were in the 90th percentile when voting, so when things go bad for those who voted for him, do not come looking for us. In the words of the lovely sista in Home Goods, “ Get someone else to do it.”
I’ve heard the statistics regarding Black women voting to save humanity day after day, and I’m legit tired of hearing about it.
We, Black women, understand that we are responsible for exercising our right to vote responsibly. As much as I would like to drive that point home, I would instead like to focus on giving sistas pointers on managing our mental health while remaining safe throughout the next four years. We are approaching a turbulent time, and our seatbacks will need to be in the upright position, our seatbelts will need to be fastened, and we will need to brace ourselves for the random dips and dives. Oh, and our head must be on a swivel for when we forget that we must put ourselves first, ONLY. We basically have to stay ready so we do not have to get ready.
In my book, Safe Spaces for Black Women, I define safe as being safe from harm. Being free from the mental harm that racism causes us is the upper room of safety. Unfortunately, we do not discuss the effects of racism on our mental health. We often focus on the actions of the racist and know how the racist makes us feel. Sometimes, the overt act is so egregious that we focus on the act versus how we are made to feel, how we will find safety, and how we will heal from not being safe from harm.
Do we know how to protect our mental health from racist and racism? Many would say, “Turn off the TV” or “Silence the noise.” My question is, can we afford to disconnect from the direction in which the nation our ancestors built is going? NO, we cannot, Sis. What we can do is only tune in to those matters that are important to us, FULL STOP. The days of managing the problems of others are over. Not because we do not care; we absolutely do care about others; we care about ourselves and our mental health more.
Caring for ourselves after we’ve been hurt is the highest form of self-care. What do I mean? Most recently, Black women marched and fought out loud against the attacks on Palestine, even without seeing the same support from the Muslim community. We did not stop there; we picked up the abortion fight, a fight that was not our fight. This abortion fight was for white life, full stop. Maternal health for Black women continues to be an issue regardless of Roe v Wade or any other reproductive rights fight. These are just a few fights Black women have aligned with no reciprocity from non-Black Americans.
So what’s next? How can we recover from the mental health hurt and pain that is caused by racism at work, school, and in society at large?
Find your safe space.
Evening of Elegance: A Safe Space for Black Women™ curated by Alicia Nicole with wreath making sponsored by Estée LauderWe often discuss this, but it is a fact. Building a community with Black women who understand our plight is healing. I qualify this with “share our plight.” I can see someone’s lip turned up regarding all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk, which is a fact. This is why you have to FIND your safe space. If you are not familiar with my lifestyle brand, Alicia Nicole, I create Safe Spaces for Black Women. These spaces are developed for Black women who desire to relax, release, and restore. That is what you need, Sis, a space that is for ONLY us by ONLY us that allows you to be you unapologetically. These spaces encourage you to come as you are in all of your fabulousness and Black Girl Magic.
These are not BIPOC or POC spaces; these are SAFE SPACES FOR BLACK WOMEN™ ONLY! The beauty of these spaces is:
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- We are unapologetically ourselves.
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- We do not have to make blanket statements of concerns for others that do not center our concerns as Black women.
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- We are not on display for others to copy or appropriate for their benefit
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- We are THEE focus, full stop
Safe Spaces for Black Women™, simply stated, are for the sista that desires communion with women that are skinfolk and kinfolk. Seek out your safe space, Sis; it will be your lifeline.
I love my safe space, my home. I also have Safe Spaces for Black Women™ because I enjoy curating spaces that Black women deserve.
Sis, find your safe space with your skinfolk and kinfolk, you will start your healing process from the pain and mental health concerns brought on by racism and racist people.
About Alicia
Alicia Coulter, MPH, MSW, is a visionary leader dedicated to creating Safe Spaces for Black Women™—luxurious, empowering, and inclusive environments where health, joy, and sisterhood thrive. As the CEO and co-founder of the AHN Foundation, Alicia transforms her personal experiences with corporate inequities into a mission to empower and uplift Black women.
A proud South Central Los Angeles native and UCLA Bruin, Alicia also co-leads Harmony Development Associates, supporting for-profit and nonprofit growth. Residing in Los Angeles County with her husband of 23 years and their three daughters, Alicia’s commitment to family and community fuels her passion for meaningful change.
